dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
they need to just BURY HIM!
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Randomize
