is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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