you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
