there's paper in my vomit.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
