My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
