you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize