What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
