The maid of honor just puked.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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