a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Im part way to drunk.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
