covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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