So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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