I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
