he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
