There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
