Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
