I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
