I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
