he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
