Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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