Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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