I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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