he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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