My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
