Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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