Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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