I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
