Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
im six kinds of drunk right now
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
