A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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