I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
