I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
