I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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