alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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