I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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