Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
