alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
