Don't you send me to vm
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i love accidental penises.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
