He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize