White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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