butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
