And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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