First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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