i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
