Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
