I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
