She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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