In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
