I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I am mentally ready for anal.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
