votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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