You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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