Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
