So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
