Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Let's get the cat blown out
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
