Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize