This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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