I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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