well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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