Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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