Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
