I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
