Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
