apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Dicks are not precious.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
