KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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