Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize