i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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