Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
