It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize