we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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