SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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