im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
