He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
