question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
i out mim tonsoeep
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