found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Who died my cat blue again?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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