why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
